


'Twas the night before Christmas

by supercali



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Robron Secret Santa 2019, mentions of other canon relationships - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:14:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21963394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supercali/pseuds/supercali
Summary: Two best friends, a pact, and multiple Christmas Eves
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 4
Kudos: 80





	'Twas the night before Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Robron Secret Santa for @anidorikiladratalianna
> 
> Double ***** indicates a new year.

It started by accident. His Mum said all the best things do. He would never tell her she was right though.

It was Christmas and Aaron loved Christmas. He got to eat as many sweets as he wanted, and he got presents. This year he wanted a bike. He’d marked it in the catalogue his Mum kept on the table by the sofa, with red pen and everything. He hoped Santa had seen it. He really wanted that bike. Oliver had one at school, he got to ride it in every day, and he had a lock that he had to put numbers in and everything.

Right now he was sitting on the stairs because his Mum was talking to Mrs Sarah on the phone and he knew he shouldn’t interrupt. He liked her, she lived at the farm with the animals. He didn’t go up there much, not unless he was with Uncle Cain. Mr Sugden scared him, he was always so shouty. 

He shuffles a little closer to the door, trying to hear what they were saying. Maybe Mum would mention his presents.

_“Of course he can stay here. For as long as you like. Bring him over now, and his stuff.”_

He almost let out a yelp of excitement, clapping his hands over his mouth just in time. Robert was coming to stay. He was his best friend, and having him stay at Christmas was even better. Robert was a couple of classes above him at school and he knew all about the best stuff, and didn’t seem to care about Aaron being littler than him.

“Aaron!” He peeked round the bottom of the bannister as his Mum opened the door. “What are you doing there love?”

“You was talkin’.” 

“Well anyway. That was Robert’s mummy, he’s going to be staying for a few days so he’ll be sleeping over in your room, alright?” He nods.

“Will Santa know where he is? He can share my presents if he doesn’t.” He follows her into the kitchen, hearing the noise from the bar through the door. It sounded busy, he wasn’t allowed in when it was busy. He liked when it was quiet and he could sit on the stool at the bar like a grown up.

“Don’t you worry about that.”

“Why isn’t he going to be with his Mum and Dad for Christmas?” He was sad about that really. He might be scared of Mr Sugden but he’d seen him playing cricket with Robert in the summer so he must be alright. Uncle Cain didn’t smile much after all.

“His Mum has to stay in hospital for a day or two and his Dad will be staying with her.”

“Doesn’t she know it’s Christmas?”

“It’s not something that can be put off love. Anyway Sarah has to stay at the hospital for a bit to make sure the baby is alright, so Robert has to stay here. He’ll be here soon. Why don’t you fetch one of your DVDs for you both to watch, or one of your games.”

“Ok. Mum? Are we going to get a baby for Christmas?” He didn’t think it sounded fun. He’d definitely prefer his bike.

“No love.” She says with a laugh. “Go on, he’ll be here soon.” 

He makes sure Robert sits next to him at the table that night in the pub when they eat. It’s only for the kids, and there’s him and Robert, with Belle. She’s still little though, so he’s glad Robert’s there.

Aaron doesn’t think he can remember a better Christmas, his best friend staying over and the bike he wanted, waiting by the kitchen table when they’d run downstairs the next morning. Robert didn’t get one, but maybe he didn’t ask Santa for one. He got a cool computer game though, and that’s almost as good. Aaron thinks his face should be aching from all the smiling he’s done.

*****  
*****

Aaron had had a good Christmas Eve. He’d beaten Uncle Cain at his computer game and now it was nearly time for Robert to get here with his family. He had a new game ready to unwrap, a treat his Mum said because he’d helped her get the bar tables clean.

The pub was closed so all of them could fit. Their table was all ready, the best crackers on their plates, he’d made sure of it. They’d have to put up with Belle, and he supposed Victoria, with them this year but they were the oldest so they were in charge. Robert said that was how it worked.

“You alright love?”

“Is it time yet?” She smiled and ruffled his hair making him squirm.

“Nearly.”

“Mum,” He asked, following her through to the bar. “Will me and Robert be friends forever?”

“That’s a long time sweetheart. No one can tell you that.”

“I bet we will.” He was sure of it.

The door opens then and Mr Sugden comes in first, scowling. Aaron doesn’t think he’s ever done anything else. Then he sees Robert and starts to go over to him, stopping in his tracks when he sees Andy following him. He hadn’t known he’d be there. He wasn’t sure what to make of him really. He didn’t live with them all the time, not yet, but Robert had said he would be soon. 

He was always with them, Andy always part of their games now. Aaron didn’t like it, it had always been him and Robert and now Andy was there, sharing secrets and jokes with Robert that Aaron wasn’t part of.

He’d said so to his Mum. She’d said he should be nice because Andy didn’t have a Mum or Dad to look after him. He supposed that didn’t sound very nice, but still, Robert was _his_ friend.

“What’s the matter?” Robert asks later, when they’re eating the trifle Marlon had made that morning. He’d made sure to sit next to him when his Mum had added a place for Andy, but he was still fed up.

“Nothin’.”

“Yes there is.”

“Shut up!” He scrapes his chair back, running from the bar and up to his room, sitting on the floor, arms round his knees. He knows someone will come after him, probably his Mum to tell him off, but it’s not, it’s Robert.

“Here. You didn’t finish it.” He sits beside him, handing him the half eaten dish of trifle.

“Don’t want it.” He does, he loves Marlon’s trifle, but he’s annoyed at Robert, even if he doesn’t understand why.

“Can I have it then?” He pushes it over to him, not looking up at him. “So why’d you come up here?”

“Felt like it. You don’t have to stay. Go back to Andy.”

“What? Are you jealous?”

“No!” 

“Yes you are! Silly thing.” He snuck a look at him and Robert was smiling.

“I asked my Mum if she thought we’d be friends forever and she said that was a really long time, and you’re always with Andy now. Do you not want to be my friend anymore?”

“Course I do. You’re my best friend.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I promise, and your Mum is wrong. We’ll be friends forever, I promise. Why wouldn’t we?” He just shrugs. “We should make a pact. Every Christmas Eve…me and you will spend it together.” He holds out his hand and Aaron shakes it, grinning.

“Ok.” It sounded like the best thing in the world.

*****  
*****

It’s late when he hears the sniffling coming from the airbed. He doesn’t know what to do. It’s Robert so it should be the easiest thing in the world to say something, to try and make it better, but what does he know about what he’s going through. How can he help when Robert’s hurting so much, when he lost his Mum the way he did.

His Mum had woken him up that night, a few weeks ago, telling him about what happened, that Robert was at the hospital with Andy and she was going up to fetch him. He’d insisted on going with her, worried as anything about Robert.

He hadn’t said anything all night, hadn’t protested when Aaron had been the one to sleep on the floor and then he’d gone back home the next day with his Dad. Aaron didn’t know how to make it better. How did you make something like that better?

He’d not seen him for a while, but then the police took his Dad and he came to stay again.

Now it was Christmas and his Dad was in prison accused of starting the fire. Not that Aaron minded, but he didn’t know what to do for the best. Christmas was meant to be happy, but Robert was so sad.

“Rob? You awake?”

“Yeah.” He’s quiet, and that scares him because Robert’s not quiet usually.

“Wanna go play Fifa or something?” It feels a bit lame but maybe it could take his mind off things for a while at least.

“It’s late.”

“It’s Christmas though.” Another sniff. “Sorry.”

“S’not your fault. It’s his.”

“Do you really think he’d do that? Kill your Mum?”

“He’s in prison.”

“Doesn’t mean he did it? Are you going to go visit him?” He says nothing and all he can hear is his breathing and the odd sniffle until he shifts on the airbed.

“Thought you wanted to play Fifa?” He’s already getting up and Aaron scrambles to follow. 

They’re ensconced on the sofa playing when he speaks again, mouth full of chocolate digestives which always made Robert wrinkle his nose at him. Not tonight though. 

“I’m glad you’re here.” Robert just stares ahead at the TV. “You know what I mean.”

“I’m glad too. Better you than Andy.”

“Wow, thanks.” He’d never really taken to Andy, even after Robert’s reassurances. He wasn’t that bad but he’s always been firmly on Robert’s side as things got worse between them. “Didn’t you want to go to the B&B with him, Vic and Diane?”

“Rather be here. Said I’d go over tomorrow maybe. Besides he’ll just be banging on about how Dad’s innocent.”

“Do you really think he did it?” Robert shrugged.

“He was so angry about Mum and Richie, about her wanting to take us with her. He should’ve let her, it’s not like he cares anyway.”

Aaron didn’t know what to ay. He’d never really understood all the tension with Robert and his Dad, but at the end of the day Robert was his friend so he’d done his best to be there for him. He missed Sarah too. She’d always been so nice to him.

“You reckon Cain will let us go on the quad tomorrow?” He asks after a while.

“What he doesn’t know can’t hurt him, eh?” Robert answered with a small grin, leaning over to grab the rapidly emptying pack of biscuits.

*****  
*****

“I thought you weren’t ever going to get here!” He shuffles from one foot to the other as he sees Robert get off the bus. He was late and Aaron was sure he’d decided not to come home. He’d left that summer, for Manchester, after a blazing row with his Dad. He’d been going anyway, off to university, some fancy business course that Aaron didn’t understand even though it was probably perfect for Robert. He’d missed him, he was really his only close friend and he’d been dreading Christmas without him, thinking about the silly pact they’d made as kids.

“I really need a car! Besides, I promised, didn’t I? Every Christmas Eve, we’d spend it together.” He shrugs, that lazy smile crossing his face. “Spoke to Vic earlier, she said we’re all eating at the pub?”

“You might be, not me. I’m at Paddy’s.”

“What? But it’s Christmas Eve!”

“So what?”

“I thought…well we always spend it together.”

“We can, just not there.” 

“Won’t be like before though will it?” Before. That was it wasn’t it, before. Before all the fights, before he left, before he found out the truth about his Mum and the row happened.

“I’m not sharing a table with Carl King, Robert.”

“I thought you and your Mum were getting on better now. That’s what you said.” He takes one of his bags as they walk towards the pub, guessing that’s where Robert’s staying.

“Yeah well, we do when he’s not about. You’ve not been here, you don’t know what he’s like, always in my face, winding me up.” He can’t help the little note of anger in his voice, that Robert had got away, had left when he’d been stuck here on his own with no one to talk to about everything.

“You know why.”

“Don’t change nothing. He’s still a prat and he’ll hurt her, I know he will.”

“Don’t you think that if that’s the case you should be there for her? She’ll need you.”

“So what I should put up with him?” He’d forgotten just how annoying Robert could be when he made sense.

“Well yeah, but…I’m here now aren’t I? You won’t be putting up with him on your own.” He shakes his head at the lopsided grin, the one he’s missed, not that he’d ever admit it out loud.

It’s freezing when he bursts out of the pub, only there because Robert convinced him to go to the pub in the end, stalking into the darkness, hands stuffed in his pockets. He’s got no idea where he’s going, he just couldn’t stay in there a minute longer. 

He ends up at the bridge, leaning over it, watching the water pass under his feet, watching his breath disappear into the cold air. He swivels round when he hears footsteps, relaxing when he sees Robert. He’s in that ridiculous coat of his, the one he thinks makes him look important, that Aaron can’t help take the mick out of, scarf round his neck.

“Your Mum sent me. She sent me after you.” He snorts. “Aaron…”

“She told me to get out.”

“Well…”

“You think she was right?” Of course he did, no one was on his side were they.

“I didn’t say that. But you’re not going to get anywhere winding him up all the time.”

“Because you never did that with your Dad did ya?” Robert looks away, shoulders slumping. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“No it’s not. I shouldn’t take it out on you. Me and her, we used to be so close and ever since he showed up, it feels like I’m in the way, like I’ve got no one.”

“Hey, you’ve got me. I know I’m not here, but you can always talk to me.” He moves closer and Aaron looks up at him, looking for a sign he’s winding him up but he can’t find one. 

“Thanks.” It’s just a whisper but he thinks he’s heard.

“Your Mum is still there too, she always will be, Carl King or not.”

“God, Robert, I’m sorry. I’m whining on and…” He’d seen him earlier, after they’d dropped his bags off, bunch of flowers in hand, heading for the graveyard. How could he be so stupid. “Is it…worse at Christmas?”

“Maybe. I still miss her so much I don’t think it’s worse, but…she was always the life and soul wasn’t she? Always making sure we were alright and sneaking us extra pudding.”

“Do you remember when she spilt that jug of cream in your Dad’s lap?” Robert’s so close he can feel the laughter from him. “I miss her too you know. Not the same I know, but I do.”

“Yeah. She loved you, always said she was glad I had a friend like you.” He sniffs a little and moves away, making Aaron cold and he tries to ignore why that is. “We’re getting maudlin Dingle. Come on, let’s go back.”

“And you’ll stop me lamping Carl one?”

“If I must.”

*****  
*****

*Thanks for telling me you weren’t coming home. Getting your sister to do your dirty work. Really classy ;)*

*I’ve got to work. Not all of us have an uncle with a garage, Dingle.*

*Aaron? Come on, it’s not that bad. I’ll be there for New Year.*

*Aaron. Are you sulking?*

“What?” He can’t help snapping when he answers.

“So you are there! I’m sorry I can’t make it, but I really do have to work. The big wide world isn’t cheap you know.” He wasn’t even angry. He was jealous if anything. Robert was out there doing what he wanted, while he was stuck here in the village going nowhere. 

“Don’t treat me like a kid.”

“I’m not. It’s Christmas Eve though.”

“So what?”

“So what’s the matter then? You’ve been a right grump lately. More than your usual brand of grumpiness.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Aaron, I’m still your friend, even if I’m in Manchester., you can’t talk to me, right? Is it your Mum, did you fall out again?”

“I kissed Adam.” It’s a whisper but it’s blurted out and he’s not thinking. He’d spent the whole time since it happened trying to forget it, or fearing Adam telling the whole village and now he’d just said it like it was nothing. Maybe it was because Robert was on the phone, this way he couldn’t see his face, his reaction. “I…”

“Ok.”

“What?” He’s pacing up and down, surprised his Mum hasn’t come up and told him to stop making the ceiling shake.

“I said ok. Because it is you know.”

“How is it? He’s mad at me. I know he’s going to tell everyone.”

“Do you want me to talk to him?”

“You’d do that?”

“You know I would. If he’s your mate like you say, he wouldn’t put you in that position.”

“What’s everyone going to say?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. It didn’t exactly go well for me remember?” He did. Robert had turned up at the pub one afternoon, tearstained face, hugging his arms to himself. Aaron hadn’t known what to do, just took him up to his room away from prying eyes. Eventually he’d told him what had happened with his Dad. He’d not known what to do, had just listened. Robert and his Dad hadn’t been the same after that, and even though he’d not said as much Aaron was sure that was the main reason he’d left early for university. “But your lot, they’re different to my Dad. They love you Aaron, no matter what.” 

He can almost hear the jealousy in his voice. He knows Robert would’ve given anything for Jack to be supportive, to accept him. He knows that’s why he won’t come back anymore. They’d had another row the Christmas before and he’d ended up back at the pub before lunch was even ready on Christmas Day. Then Jack had died not long after and he knew how guilty Robert still felt.

“Adam hates me. I don’t know how to tell them. What if they are like your Dad?”

“They won’t be. You know…you can always come and stay with me, if it is bad, which I’m sure it won’t be.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s only a floor but it’s better than nothing, but you won’t need it.”

“I don’t know how to do this, Robert.”

“You don’t have to do anything until you’re ready. Sure you don’t want me to sort Adam for you?” He laughs. Robert’s always thought Adam was a bit of an idiot.

“Think you’re scary do ya?”

“I can be. You know, if you want, when you do tell them, I could come up if it’ll help.”

“You’d do that?”

“Yeah if you needed me to.”

“What about you? Did you meet anyone yet?” He asked every time they spoke, and every time there was a sense of relief when Robert said no. He’d never wanted to examine that too far but now, well maybe he’d have to.

“Yeah, well maybe…but…he’s always there Aaron, always in my head. I hate him. I know he died and I’m supposed to love him, but I hate him.”

“You know he was wrong, don’t you? What did you just say to me…that it’s ok. If that’s the case for me, then surely it is for you too.”

“I know. Most of the time I’m ok with it, but sometimes I’ll hear someone that sounds like him and I’m right back there.”

“Yeah.” He decides to change the subject because there wasn’t anything he could do to make Robert feel better however much he wanted to. “So, what are you doing tomorrow?”

“Few of us are getting together. Not the same as being at home though.”

“I don’t know, beats listening to Uncle Zak snoring all afternoon.”

“Sounds pretty good to me.”

“What’s the real reason you won’t come home? I’d reckon New Year’s Eve wages are better than Christmas Eve.”

“I just can’t. I can’t sit there and listen to them all going on about how wonderful he was. I know I’m breaking our pact but…”

“It’s alright. That was just a kids thing wasn’t it?” Robert doesn’t answer, he can just hear him breathing over the phone. “Maybe next year it’ll be easier.”

“Maybe.”

“I should go. Let you get to work.”

“Are you going to be ok?”

“I don’t know. It helped though, talking to you.”

“You know…there are buses.”

“Er…yeah?”

“You could catch one, come to the bar. You’d have to watch me working, but…we’d be together like always.”

“You mean it?”

“Yeah. I could drive you back when I finish, crash at yours, come back tomorrow. It’s just the Sugden family table I don’t want part of.”

“I…” He wanted to, he thought seeing Robert might help, and it wasn’t like there was anything happening in the village.

“It’s Christmas Eve, Dingle.”

“Send me the address.”

*****  
*****

He has to get out, just needs a minute, a minute on his own to breathe, where he’s not getting snapped at for helping. He cradles the lukewarm coffee in his hands, looking around at the sagging decorations, the tired tree in the corner, summing up just what it’s like to be in hospital at this time of year. Another Christmas Eve has come and he couldn’t feel less like celebrating if he tried.

“Aaron?” His head snaps up, seeing Robert standing there, fancy M&S carrier bag in one hand, coffee cups in the other. “You alright? Is Jackson…”

“He’s fine. Well…what are you doin’ here? Haven’t you got a poncy party to go to?”

“It’s Christmas Eve, where else would I be?” He sits beside him, all long legs and fancy jeans. “So, what are you doing out here?”

“He’s tired that’s all. He doesn’t mean it.” He sees the look on his face. “What’s in the bag?”

“Dinner. Can’t rustle up a table or ‘owt, but I can offer Marks and Sparks finest Christmas sandwiches and if you’re very very good a slice of chocolate cake. So…what happened?” He asks as he delves into the carrier bag, handing Aaron a sandwich.

“Why are you here?” He’d not seen him for months. He knew why. Robert didn’t like Jackson, and honestly the feeling was mutual. He didn’t think he was right for Aaron. They argued about it nearly every time they’d spoken. In the end Aaron just stopped calling. Then the accident happened and he’d had more important things to worry about. Still, Robert was the last person he expected to see, even on Christmas Eve.

“It’s Christmas Eve.”

“Right, and you’ve got nothing better to do?”

“Have actually. Remember me telling you about Chrissie?” He did, he’d got fed up with hearing about her. “She invited me to a party.”

“So why aren’t you there then?”

“I told you. It’s Christmas Eve. So, how are you?”

“I’m alright. I’m not the one who can’t move or do anything for himself.” He puts down his sandwich. “But I guess you don’t care about him.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Isn’t it? I know you don’t like him.”

“No I don’t. Doesn’t mean I don’t feel for him. Anyway, you’re my friend, that’s why I’m here, why I’m asking. So, how is he?”

“He’s going home tomorrow and they’re going through everything…it’s a lot. Me and Hazel were talkin’ about a rota or something, just for a bit, and he lost it.”

“Must be a lot to deal with. I…are you sure about all this.”

“What?”

“I’m just saying you’re eighteen Aaron, you should be out with your mates, partying or whatever. Not…this.”

“So I should just abandon him? I know you love and leave all your conquests Robert, but that’s not me.” He drops the rest of the sandwich back into the box and gets up. “Go back to your life Robert.”

“Aaron, wait! I didn’t mean…look, I’m your friend, I’m just looking out for you.”

“Where were you when he was hurt? You were nowhere because you were jealous. Jealous that I had someone else, that I didn’t need you like I had before.”

“That’s not fair!”

“Maybe not. I’m right though.”

“You’re talking rubbish. You stopped calling me!”

“And that stopped you calling me when the accident happened?”

“I asked Vic about you, I knew you were ok.” Aaron snorts in disgust. “I’m here now."

“I don’t need you now. What I needed back then was you. When I didn’t know if he’d live or when my Mum wanted to keep checking on me every five minutes in case I lost it.”

“Do you know what I would’ve given for that? A Mum to be there to tell me it was alright?”

“Don’t throw that back at me. I can’t bring your Mum back Robert!”

“Grow up Aaron! I’m here now and I had better offers.”

“Yeah well, too little too late. Just go Robert. I need to get back to my boyfriend.”

He doesn’t say anything, just shoves his uneaten dinner in the bin and leaves. Aaron lets out a breath. He was being unfair, he knew that. There was nothing he could’ve done and he was right about Vic, she’d told Aaron he’d been asking. He couldn’t stop himself lashing out though, even at Robert.

He felt guilty wishing he could leave with him, to leave this behind, the hospital, all the equipment, Jackson’s moods. That just made him feel worse.

The truth of it was, it was Robert. He wanted to be with Robert and instead he’d sent him away.

*****  
*****

Aaron was homesick. Paris was nice and all but he missed Emmerdale, the crazy little village where everyone knew your business. He could’ve gone home, Ed had said he didn’t mind. He was training after all, but he’d stayed. It wasn’t the same anymore. Not without Robert.

They’d not spoken since that night at the hospital, since he’d sent him away. Was it only two years ago? It felt like so much longer. Why had he done that. Why did he put the blame on Robert. He couldn’t expect him to hold his hand through life. He had his own stuff to deal with, he couldn’t be at Aaron’s beck and call all the time. He missed him though.

He should make the first move, but it had been so long he didn’t know how. What if Robert didn’t want to know? He wasn’t sure he could face that. Maybe it was better to just leave things as they were.

He finishes work for the day, heading home, knowing the flat will be empty, Ed will still be at training. They seemed to barely see each other these days. It’s been that way a while and he finds he doesn’t care the way he should. There are the barest hints of Christmas to be seen. He thought about home again, the pub would be full of people, warm and cosy, one of Marlon’s burgers would go down a treat. Maybe he should call his Mum, a friendly voice might snap him out of his slump.

“Mum, it’s me. Are you busy?” He could hear the hustle and bustle of the pub in the background and he only missed it more.

“Diane can manage for a bit love. How are you?” He didn’t know what else to say. He went to work, came home to a mostly empty flat and repeated it day after day.

“Alright. Works ok, you know.”

“Aaron love, you know it’s ok to come home if you’re not happy. There’s no shame in it.”

“I know. It’s not that. I’m happy, I promise. Just Christmas away from home…you know. Anyway, what’s going on there?”

“Nothing much. Marlon’s cooking the lunch so he’s throwing a tantrum about getting it all ready. Oh! I tell you who turned up the other day. Robert!”

“Yeah? He ok?”

“Yes love, in fact he wasn’t alone…” He swore as his phone started beeping, drowning her out. “Mum?” His screen was dead and nothing he did would make it work. He wondered what she’d been about to tell him. Sounded like Robert had brought someone home with him. Probably Chrissie. He’d talked about marrying her back when they were still speaking.

He must be going mad because he actually thinks about going home, then he laughs at himself. What is he doing, going miles just for a piece of gossip. On the other hand if Robert is in the village it could be his chance to make things right. He wasn’t alone though. Clearly he was with someone. Could he face getting their friendship back, if that’s all it could ever be. Could he watch him with someone else? 

Before he can think any further, the doorbell rings. He expects Ed has forgotten his key again. He almost falls over in shock when he opens the door to find Robert standing there.

"Hi. Missed me?” The grin is such a welcome sight he wants to hug him, despite everything.

"What the hell are…I…” He pulls him inside. He and Ed have a very nosy neighbour and the last thing he needs is her poking her head out of the door, "I just spoke to Mum. She said you were in the village.”

"I was."

"She also said you weren't alone. So what is this? Trying to ease your conscience?"

"My God, I'd forgotten your penchant for jumping to conclusions. Did she not tell you who I was with?"

"No. My phone gave out.”

"Right, so you're judging on half the information?”

"Just go home, Robert. Go home to Chrissie or whoever and leave me alone."

“Chrissie? She’s long gone. Caught me with her sister. His name is Seb. He’s just over a year old and I'm all he has in the world." Aaron looks up at him. "He's my son. Which if you'd called your Mum back you would've found out."

"I told you my phone..."

"There's a landline right there." He pointed to the unit by the door. "So you could've found out, you just decided the worst of me like everyone else. Thanks Aaron, thanks a lot.”

"Robert that's not…” He wanted to protest but he was right wasn’t he? He’d thought the worst straight away.

“I thought you were different. Different to everyone else, but you’re just the same.” He turned to go and Aaron had to grab his arm to stop him leaving.

“Robert! Wait. Why did you come here? We haven’t seen each other for two years. Why now? Why come all this way?”

“I…can I, can we not do this in the hallway?”

“Come on.” He leads him into the kitchen, checking the clock. Ed wouldn’t be home just yet. He got them both a beer from the fridge before sitting down. “Right, go on.”

“Like I said, Chrissie caught me with her sister. At our engagement party.” Aaron just shook his head. “Little did I know Rebecca had her own surprise for me.”

“What?” 

“Seb. She didn’t tell me. I only found out when she and her family were in an accident. He’s mine and…I’m terrified.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

“Having Seb, it made me think I suppose. I’m all he has and I realised that the one person I needed to tell, to hear say I’m doing ok, was you.”

“So I should just turn round and forget the past two years? Forget that you haven’t called? After Jackson, to tell me I did the right thing, to tell me the world hadn’t ended. I needed my best friend, the one who said he’d always be there.” He wasn’t being fair, he could’ve called Robert himself, but he was hurt. The truth was he’d wanted Robert to come and take him away from it all, the hurt, the choices, all of it, and now he was taking that out on him when he shouldn’t.

“I’m sorry! I should’ve called…I guess I just didn’t have the first idea what to say. After you threw me out…”

“Being there would’ve been enough. You didn’t have to say anything.”

“I couldn’t.”

“Why?”

"Because you wouldn't want to hear what I had to say. That I thought you should've left him, that it was too much for you to deal with at eighteen. That he should've never put you in that position.” Aaron doesn't answer, just stares at him. “Sorry.”

“What are you sorry for? Saying it or feeling it?"

"Saying it. I can't help how I feel."

"Yeah. You know, you didn’t say anything others haven’t. What I needed was you, opinions and all."

“I know. You...you know how it was with my Dad. Nothing was ever good enough and I suppose, after you sent me away at the hospital...felt Like I'd let you down too and I couldn't face you!”

"You're an idiot."

"Thanks."

"Well you are. You've never let me down, even then really. I didn’t make it easy. I came out to you because I trusted you, I let you in when I was so scared about who I was. All I ever needed you to do was be there." He stops pacing, gulping back some of his beer . "Do you want to know the real reason I sent you away from the hospital? Or part of it at least.”

“Go on."

"I couldn't face you being there. Not right then, when all I could think about was wanting to be with you and not him. I couldn't be feeling like that when he was...so I pushed you away."

"You're the idiot." He smiled a little. "Wait... you wanted to be with me? As in..." Aaron nods. "How long?"

“Round about the time I kissed Adam and wished it was you.”

"Aaron! That was three years ago? ? All that time! Why didn't you say anything?”

"You said there was a someone and then all you were talking about was Chrissie. Besides I was still coming to terms with everything and I didn’t want to lose you."

"You wouldn't, even if I hadn't felt the same way.”

"What?"

"Forget I said that. You're with…your Mum told me his name but…"

“Ed. You like me?" Robert shifts awkwardly. “Rob..."

“Yeah." Aaron let out a laugh. "What?"

"Us!"

"Yeah. Doesn't matter now though. You’re here, with Ed, and happy, and I’m back at Vic's trying to be a good Dad."

"You are.”

"How do you know?"

"I know you.”

"Thanks...I should go. Just...I am sorry for not being around. and I guess for dumping all this on your, especially at Christmas."

"Don't be daft. You can stay if you want.”

"No. Maybe another time. Merry Christmas Dingle.”

"Merry Christmas Robert." He can't help himself, he closes the space between then, kissing him softly on the lips.

When he's gone, and he's watched from the window as he gets in the car, Aaron can't stop pacing, thinking. There isn't a choice. There never really has been. Besides, it’s almost Christmas Eve.

*****

The pub is full to the brim when he enters. His Mum is in her element behind the bar and he watches until she notices him, calling attention to him.

"What are you doing here? Is Ed with you?"

"Er...no. I'll explain later. Is Robert in?"

"He's in the back with the baby.” The smile on her face tells him she knows just why he’s here. He makes his way through the back, stopping when he hears Robert's voice.

"When you’re older Christmas is going to be so much fun, I promise. Maybe if you're a really lucky boy you'll have a friend like Aaron. If you do, don't be like Daddy and let him go. One day I'll take you to meet him…" He'd heard enough pushing the door open, watching as Robert's face transformed from smiling to shock.

"Does it have to be one day? Couldn't I meet him now?"

"What are...I don't understand."

"It's Christmas Eve. We've already got a couple to make up for, can't miss another."

"What about Ed?"

"I finished it.” It had been pretty easy in the end. Both of them knew it had been over for a while, they were just going through the motions.

"But..."

"There wasn't a choice. There never would've been a choice.”

"I don't know what to say.”

"Well while you come up with something I'm going to introduce myself to this little man.” Robert doesn't move so he steps over and picks Seb up out of his lap. “Hi, so you’re Seb? I’m Aaron. While your Daddy's having a moment, let me tell you about how Christmas Eve works around here."

*****  
*****

Robert’s on the sofa in the back room when Aaron lets himself in the pub. There’s no sign of the kids thankfully, as they’d be head first in the bags he’s clutching before he could stop them. He was hoping he could hide them before Robert saw and pick them up later but his husband is too sharp for that.

“More? Aaron we’re going to need an extension on the house at this rate!”

“It’s just a few bits, calm down. Besides, like you haven’t bought them exactly what they asked for no matter the cost.” He puts the bags down and lets himself be wrapped up in Robert’s arms, the cold starting to leave him. “It’s just that doll El wanted and a couple of bits for Seb.”

“Her name’s Ella, don’t blame me when she shouts at you.” He smiles, not used to their daughter’s demands to be called by her full name and not the shortened one that had been a favourite when trying to get her to sleep in the middle of the night. He tried, but it’d been his pet name for her for years now, it was a hard habit to break.

“Where are the monsters anyway?” The peace was nice, they’d been on what felt like an extended sugar high for weeks now, waiting for Christmas to arrive.

“Your Mum and Vic are keeping them entertained. I had to escape for five minutes peace.”

“Idiot. Help me put these in my old room out of their way and then we’ll go through. I’ll come back and get ‘em tonight when they’re asleep.”

“You honestly think there’s a chance they’ll sleep tonight, don’t you? Do you know them at all?” Robert griped half heartedly as they climbed the stairs. Seven years it’s been now since he came back from Paris. They’re married and the arrival of Ella five years ago made everything even more perfect. “I suppose I’ll be wrapping these an’ all?”

“You shouldn’t be so good at it then, should you?” He laughs, but pecks him on the cheek as he stacks the bags behind the door. Before he can leave, Robert’s arms wind round his waist. “The kids are downstairs.”

“Mmm, and we’re up here. How fortunate.”

“No time, but maybe later, when we’ve got them to sleep and put all the presents out. Won’t be too tired will you?”

“Do you remember that year you ran up here because you were jealous of Andy?” He nods against him. “And you know, the Christmas after Mum, that was so difficult…being here with you was the only thing that got me through it.”

“Don’t.”

“I mean it Aaron. I tell you I love you all the time, but I don’t have…the words just don’t say enough.”

“Yeah, they do.” He kisses him again, memories washing over him just like Robert. “You’re amazing. A brilliant Dad, amazing husband, and I know you still think you don’t deserve all this, that your Dad wouldn’t be proud, but _I_ am.” Robert doesn’t answer him but he knows he’s heard, he relaxes a little bit more against him. 

“Come on, let’s get down there, before they send your Mum grey.”

Somehow they manage to hold hands all the way down the stairs without falling and they make their way into the bar. It’s decorated even more than it was the last time he was in and he can see the kids handiwork all over it. He watches them, playing in one of the booths that’s been designated as the kids table, with Vic keeping an eye on them, Isaac with them. The two of them are as thick as thieves, no doubt chatting over who will get the best presents.

“Remind you of anyone?” Chas inclines her head in their direction. “Give it a few years and they’ll be raising hell all over the village.”

“Oi! We weren’t that bad!” She just raises her eyebrows and moves to pull Zak another pint.

“She’s right.” Robert says and he swings round to protest. “Not about that, but about them two. Look at Isaac, he’s hanging on Seb’s every word.”

“I didn’t do that!”

“Yes you did, Dingle. Couldn’t get rid of ya could I?” He shoves him, making him laugh out loud, the kids looking over, already getting up to rush over to them.

“Sugden-Dingle now I think you’ll find. It’s nice. That’s he’s made friends, that he’ll have someone there for him, that he can be there for someone when they need him.” Robert’s smile is wide as Ella launches herself into Aaron’s arms, laughing at the grunt it forces out of him.

“Daddy! Where did you go? Did you buy me more presents?”

“That’s not up to me now is it? That’s for Santa to decide. Depends on how early you go to sleep tonight, miss.”

“Nana said we could all watch a film after tea.” Robert rolled his eyes. Now he knew where Aaron’s habit of spoiling them came from. “And have hot chocolate with marshmallows and cream.”

“Is Nana going to clear up after you is what I want to know.” Aaron whispers to him. “That sounds nice. Maybe we’ll find a short film though, eh? Don’t want Santa getting here before you’re all tucked up.” She agrees happily, always easy going their little girl with her dark curls and Aaron’s eyes. He lets her down and she runs back to the table already bossing her brother about.

“They’re growing up.”

“Yeah. Making their own traditions.” Robert wraps an arm round him again. “What are you thinking?”

“Do you…I was thinking, Ella’s at school now and we’re fairly well off…”

“Mmm. What do you reckon we’ll get this time? Girl or boy?”

“Yeah?” Robert nods, still watching the children. “I love you.”

“Love you too. Merry Christmas Aaron.”

“Merry Christmas Robert.”


End file.
